A Trans Man Walks Into a Gay Bar by Harry Nicholas

May 28, 2025
1 min read

Updated: Apr 5

"On the bookshelves, there was plenty of stuff on being gay, and much needed, joyous accounts of what it is to be trans, but nothing really that encapsulates what is it to be both – to exist in the hazy terrain between.’ After his relationship with his girlfriend of 5 years ended, Harry realised he was a single adult for the first time – not only that, but a single, transmasculine and newly out gay man.

Despite knowing it was the right decision, the reality of his new situation was terrifying. How could he be a gay man, when he was still learning what it was to be a man? Would the gay community embrace him or reject him? What would gay sex be like? And most importantly, would finding love again be possible?

In this raw, intimate and unflinchingly honest book, we follow Harry as he navigates the sometimes fraught and contradictory worlds of contemporary gay culture as a trans gay man, from Grindr, dating and gay bars, to saunas, sex and ultimately, falling in love. Harry’s brave and uplifting journey will show you there is joy in finding who you are."

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This book is courtesy of TransReads. All rights belong to the Harry Nicholas and publishers. No copyright infringement is intended. The Trans Guy Archive shares this resource on our website for the purposes of education, research, and historical empowerment.

Language: English

Resource type: Book, Memoir

Format: PDF

Date published: May 18th, 2023

Uploaded to TGA: May 28th, 2025

Last updated: April 5th, 2026